01 April 2008

The Return of the King(isms)

A disorganized post from a disorganized mind (a tribute to Larry King's old columns on USA Today, for those of you who are new to this semi-recurring feature):

I'd much rather be pwnd than served...I've never felt the urge to form my own crew and step it up to the streets...it isn't truly Spring until I have to mow the lawn and there's a sickly yellow haze of pollen swirling around my head...peas in a pod aren't anything more than conformity and a meal unfulfilled...is there a Young Dirty Bastard (I call shotgun on the name if it's not taken)...I am pleasantly surprised by and thoroughly enjoying the Stephen Curry era of Davidson basketball...it took a very high or very brave man to pitch the idea for ALF to network executives...I'm envisioning a restaurant concept that features waiters in ninja garb: special orders will be against the code of ninpo and their service will be silent and ruthlessly efficient, although there will always be a danger of the restaurant failing due to the ninjas' unwillingness to embrace the necessary flair and accoutrement for suburban dining...last weekend I offered a copy of Entertainment Weekly to the Jehovah's Witnesses, I felt like we should trade literature...

24 March 2008

Rumor Mongering

I'm always game for publicizing moderately unfounded rumors, so here goes:

I heard over the weekend that during the tornado downtown the Westin moved two feet. Of course, buildings (especially tall ones) are built to move a little bit. If they didn't, they'd break. However, the Westin wasn't really designed to move quite that far.

What initially looked like some basic glass damage started looking a lot worse a few days after the storm. Case in point, it started raining panes of glass onto Peachtree the first time there was some wind and rain after the initial tornado. Nothing says "Come stay at my hotel!" quite like giant shards of impending doom flying down into the street.

Anyway...I heard that people in the know and way smarter than me are trying to evaluate the damage and figure out which is more cost effective: trying to fix some potentially serious structural damage to a 73 story building or tearing the whole thing down and building a new and improved one.

If they choose the former, good luck. If they choose the latter, I hope it has better carpet this time.

19 March 2008

Tornado...

Apparently some of us lost more than others in the storm....

Fcm_lofts_2

12 March 2008

Talk Kitchen to Me

Guilty of having worked in a kitchen (more specifically on a line), I am occasionally prone to lapsing back into the kind of anti-social and derogatory behavior that passes for the norm when you're in the middle of working a dinner rush. The kind of chit chat that blends in seamlessly while you're getting murdered by a five hour long cavalcade of dupes in your window, but not so well when you're at a desk job or around sane persons.

I tend to slip back into my kitchen mentality most often when I'm cooking at home (duh, I'm in a kitchen after all) or when things get somewhat stressful. I've found through experience that some people appreciate the frank gallows humor and skillful use of obscenity that comes along with these bouts. My wife however only finds it humorous when it's directed at anyone except her.

Case in point, last night. I'm dicing a mountain of onions for a soup (I have a food processor, but love knife work so I eschew plugging it in for anything except the most dire of needs). The Mrs. walks into the kitchen and starts tearing up and sniffling.

Her: "God! Why are those onions so strong?"
Me: "Because you're a pussy?"
Her: [shocked silence, staring daggers at me]
Me: [shocked silence, eyes darting back and forth trying to figure out how bad this will be]
Her: "I can't believe that you would..."
Me: "You did want to know, didn't you?"

And, scene.

10 March 2008

Did You Know

I may be a complete idiot for not knowing this...but I found out today that Lincoln Logs were invented by John Lloyd Wright, son of Frank Lloyd Wright.

Fascinating.

08 March 2008

Lecture voice, ON

Got into a long discussion with the wife about coffee while we were waiting for lunch. It's one of those subjects I can go on and on about if given the opportunity (ranking up there with Transformers, movies, the artistic oeuvre of Shatner, etc). I was an on again off again coffee industry employee for about nine years. Throughout college, summers, and times when I simply needed more cash I would work as a barista. When you get right down to it, I probably have more work experience in terms of hours spent as a barista than in any of the other jobs I've held.

I just re-read that and became depressed. Give me a moment...

Sigh...

OK.

The main point of the long, scholarly voiced speech I made was to talk about standardization and what Starbucks has done to the industry. Let me be clear: I've never worked for them, I have had plenty of their products in every shape, form, location, etc, and generally I enjoy what they sell. Or, should I say, I used to.

Over the last five years Starbucks has rapidly followed the fast food industry methodology of dumbing down their products and processes so they can hire and train just about anyone. You have to do this when your business grows to thousands of locations. I get that. People expect a consistent product at every location, and the corporate powers that be will do everything to guarantee that. You make the equipment easier and easier, until it gets to the point where producing the product is nothing more than a step on a flow-chart, pressing the appropriate button at the appropriate time on a machine so simple that anyone from an airport kiosk employee with one week of experience up to a store manager with ten years of experience can produce almost identical results.

The only problem with that is, the results are vastly inferior to what their own standards used to be. Each store used to have its own espresso machine or varying ages, brands, and quality. They had their quirks and their strong points. Some were better than others, certainly. But you could get a sense of which store (and which person working that day) was going to give you a better or worse product.

I think back to my own time spent working as a barista. I loved the balance of science and art that making a good drink embodied. You had to understand and juggle the variables of temperature, timing, pressure, and grind coarseness with the art of completing something in a quick fashion while making it look and taste good in the process. If you really care about the product you're serving, each drink becomes an evaluation of how well you've evaluated those variables and executed.

The art side really comes in through learning to listen to the machine you're working with and getting a feel for when to adjust variables or ignore them completely. Having an ear for steaming milk that's ten to twenty degrees too hot...knowing a shot of espresso isn't good enough because it doesn't look right, or didn't take the right amount of time to make...understanding and adjusting for changes in air pressure and weather without having to stop everything you're doing and resetting and experimenting with the grind instead of making orders...pouring a drink so that it mixes instead of settles into layers...

It's a human process, and when it's done well you can absolutely taste the difference. Watch how little effort and understanding goes into that next latte you get at Starbucks. It's pushing one button for the espresso (grind and quantities are machine controlled) and then putting a steaming wand into a pitcher of milk and hitting another button. The machine pretty much does the rest.

Contrast that with the poor bastard who used to be me who's working with a finicky espresso machine from the 1970's that could just as easily electrocute you as produce great drinks. That's the one that takes skill, attention to detail, and a bit of artistry to handle. Sure, the potential for poor quality is there...but the potential for alchemical magic in a paper cup is there as well.

Standardization means limited opportunities for failure. But it also means almost no opportunity for anything above average to emerge from the system. I find myself more willing to take my chances with a small, local operation with the potential for greatness rather than continuing to be content with the same drink every time.